High School Horrors
by BPHB4L
Summary: uh-oh! edward finds himself in the middle of all of his siblings sudden involvement in in high school cliches, bella is his only ally in the madness, or so he thought.
1. A Smile and a Scowl

Fan fiction story: 1

High School Horrors

**Ok so this is my first story ever…im just finishing up the school year so I have finals and the chapters might come with a little time in between. Of course you probably don't care much unless you enjoy the story so far. I hope you guys like it. Leave reviews please with any suggestions you feel would make it better. Enjoy!**

A Smile and A Scowl (EPOV):

Another day starts and the only thing to look forward to is picking Bella up for school. She went on an extended shopping trip with Alice and Rose so hopefully she'll have that adorable scowl plastered on her face, and it will be my job to make her feel better. I honked the horn but it was with out reason because the second Bella heard my car pull up she was out the door.

"Hey" she mumbled in a not so cheerful manner. I was lucky, not only did she have my favorite scowl on her face, but Alice and Rosalie dressed her almost head to toe in my favorite color on her, blue.

"Hello love, did your shopping trip go well?" I asked trying as hard as I could not to laugh.

"Ha-ha Edward, don't mock me in my hour of need, or rather month of need!" she barked back at my insensitive manner.

At times like this I wished I could read her mind. She could just be so vague sometimes.

"Care to elaborate, love, just so recently I found that I can not read _everyone's_ mind."

"Sorry, I am just so annoyed right now. I mean I knew your sisters liked shopping but I didn't think that they would ever buy me a whole months worth of clothes that not to mention are all in various shades of blue…" so that explains the explosions of blue coming from their minds when ever I asked the about the shopping trip"…AND not only did they do that but they were acting extremely weird all weekend, Alice bought herself one of everything from every cheer section in every store and every time Rosalie tried something on, she would start mumbling about if every one at school would like it or not." When she was done ranting I was still confused but this time it wasn't with her, it was with Alice and Rose's behavior.

"Why would Alice need cheer supplies and since when does Rose care what the kids at school think, well let me re-phrase that, since when does Rose have a doubt in her mind that someone would think something looked bad on her." Alice's behavior was somewhat plausible considering her love for shopping, all she needed was to see a cute top in a cheer movie and she would decide she wanted a whole wardrobe of cheerleading attire. But with Rose I was really confused she could wear a potato sack to school and all the boys would be drooling over her while all the girls would be plotting her death.

"I don't know Edward, it didn't make sense to me either."

When we arrived at school things took a turn for the weird. Let me just start on the scene of my siblings when we drove up. Rose had driven her convertible and she and Emmett were making out in the backseat. It seemed Alice has put her cheerleading outfits to good use because she was wearing one and talking eccentrically to the cheerleaders and probably the weirdest of them all was Jasper. He was standing with some of the drama kids and helping them hang up a sign for their upcoming production of Shakespeare's _Macbeth._ When they Alice and Jasper saw us they each started to walk over. Alice brought a horde of girls that I knew for a fact she was going to introduce to us and Jasper came over with just one person, both sipping the coffee as they approached. Wait, what?

"Did you just see that?" asked Bella, she was as confused as I was.

"If you are referring to Jasper just drinking something other than blood, yes I did just see that."

"What is he thinking!?" I laughed at her question because of course I could answer it for her.

"Well actually he is yelling at himself for not getting a simple tea like he used to drink in the 1800's. He has just realized that if the coffee feels just as bad coming up as it is going down he is going to be in big trouble."

Jasper finally reached us, stopped to take a swig of his drink and then as coolly as possible, or at least that's what he thought, said "Hello."

"What the hell, Jasper?" was my immediate reaction.

_Please don't embarrass me in front of Amadeus_

That must have been his friend's name. I snorted from trying to keep down my laughter. Being the kind soul that I am, I quickly recovered to make my comment look normal.

"I thought you were going to wait for me before getting coffee, you know I like to come with you."

"I apologize my dear brother, I suppose our fate was blown in different directions on this fair morning." Jasper responded with out even a hint of amusement in his mind. He was totally serious. I looked over at Bella to see what her reaction was she was staring at him with her mouth slightly open and was at a complete loss of words. Amadeus was starting to wonder what was wrong with her so I quickly grabbed her hand and excused us from the conversation, saying simply that we were going to say hello to Alice.

Before Bella could ask me what just happened Alice came skipping over with her cheerleader friends. After we exchanged a hello she quickly introduced us to her friends.

"This is Amber, Barbie, Jessica but she likes to be called Jess, Brooke, Peggy, Vicky, Stacey, Heather, Jennifer but she likes to be called Jenny, Tiffany, Candy, Lucy, Brigit, Heidi, Sophia but she likes to be called Sophie, Abby, Bambi, Brittany, Kitty, and Charlotte but she likes to be called Trixie."

A chorus of "Hello's" "Whats up's" and "Go Forks High's" came from the crowed of girls.

Bella, not catching any of their names just replied "Nice to meet you all."

After a quick secret conversation at vampire speed with Alice I was promised an explanation and I again excused myself and Bella to go get Rose and Emmett for class.

When we reached their car Bella quickly shut her eyes and blushed a lovely shade of pink. As expected they were making out furiously in the back seat of the car and weren't trying much to be modest.

"Eh-hem" I was making our presence clear before they went any further." class is going to start soon." I said hoping that they were planning on coming rather than going back home to find a more comfortable place to go about their business.

Rosalie, embarrassed, smacked Emmett, fixed her hair and stomped off to class.

"Jeez, I wish she would be less modest and stop getting mad at me when people catch us. It's not my fault she can't wait until we find a bed and a door with a lock. And Bella you can open your eyes the action is over. And maybe you shouldn't close them in the first place you might learn a thing or two from my girl Rose and try it out on Mr. Virtues here."

"Hey, stop giving her ideas." I said and started trying to focus on something else. It would not be good for me to lose my temper and start tearing Emmett limb from limb, literally, in the school parking lot.

"Ok lets not discuss my and Edwards sex life shall we?"

"Ok fine, I got to go catch up with Rose, I'll see you guys at lunch." As Emmett left I turned to Bella to speak but she took the words right out of my mouth.

"Whoa, not expecting that this morning. Alice and Jasper are totally insane and Rosalie and Emmett are being way more frisky than usual."

"Well Alice promised me an explanation later so maybe she can explain what's going on."

I realized, as we started walking, that with all of the morning's madness I had not yet complemented Bella on her outfit.

"Did I mention you look beautiful this morning, my love?" She just smiled and took my hand as we continued to class. And just like that my day could be over. I had gotten to see Bella's adorable scowl and make her smile all in one morning.


	2. Weirder and Weirder

Fan Fiction Story1:

Fan Fiction Story1:

**So the 2nd chapter is done sooner than I anticipated. I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. Please continue to leave reviews. Thanks!**

Weirder and weirder (BPOV):

When we got to lunch things got even weirder. Rose and Emmett had joined the madness. Alice was sitting with her cheerleading friends, Jasper with the drama kids and now Rose was at the popular table and Emmett, clad in football gear, with the jocks.

"Ok, are you seeing this or am I going into delayed shock from the horrors of the shopping trip?" I asked Edward

"No I see it too and the weird part is that their minds are acting like this is totally normal for them. Like they've lived like this for years instead of just one day."

"Alright well we already somewhat know Alice and Jasper's deals so why don't you go talk to Emmett and I will see if I can get anything from Rosalie." I was hoping that one of them would reveal the joke because if they were for real we were in big trouble.

"Ok" replied Edward

As I walked towards Rose's table I noticed I was getting some pretty nasty looks from the girls she was sitting with. Rose, however, hadn't seemed to notice me yet. In fact she didn't notice me until I got to the table and said" Hey Rose."

"Why are you talking to me?" Ok what is going on? Is she serious? I wasn't sure what her deal was but I didn't want to stay and find out. She already had death rays coming from her eyes and I have seen what she does to Emmett when she is mad, and it wasn't pretty. Emmett would whine for a couple days after and me, being a human, probably wouldn't live through it.

"Sorry." I apologized quickly and walked away as fast as I could. As I left I could here giggles coming from the girls and questions like "What was she thinking?" and "Who is that?" Obviously the popular group of girls at Forks High live up to their catty reputation. Just as I got back to my table Edward returned to.

"Any luck With Emmett because I got nothing but some death rays from Rosalie" I asked Edward. Not only was I confused but a little hurt. The girl put me through hell all weekend, with the makeovers and facials and dress-up and now she doesn't even pretend to know who I am.

"Not really. I mean he talked to me but pretty much just about the upcoming game this weekend and how I better come. I think we'll have better luck finding things out from Jasper or Alice.

When we got home Alice was about to run out the door for cheer practice.

"Hold it right there missy." I yelled as she tried to push past us.

"Come on guys, I'm gunna be late for practice." She whined

"To bad," Edward scolded Alice " You're going to explain to us what going on and your going to do it now."

" I really don't know what you're talking about, I have been doing cheer as long as I can remember. Jasper has always done plays and drank coffee and eaten scones when the drama kids do. Rosalie has refused to talk to anyone but Emmett and me since we came to this school and Emmett, of course, was a born football player and has been quarterback at every school we have ever been too. I don't know whats going on with you two it's like you don't remember anything. It's kinda weird. But I really need to go, I have never been late to a practice and if I am I could lose my position as captain. Bye bye!" And with that she was out the door and speeding away in her car.

"Well that was…" I began

"A total waste?" Edward finished.

"Yep, pretty much, you took the words right out of my mouth. This is getting ridiculous!"

**Sorry this chapter was really short because it was a filler chapter. I might get one more chapter in till I have to hit the books for my finals so bear with me please.**


	3. Bedazzle Crazy

**Hey, its samala so this chapter was kinda written in my head for a while but I was really busy so it took me a while to get it written out where you guys could read it. I hope you like it the chapters have been shorter than I anticipated but im out of school now so I will be able to post them faster. Please keep reviewing and also keep watch for new chapters of Growing Pains and new stories. Thanks guys!**

Bedazzle Crazy(EPOV):

Things continued to be strange when Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie really started acting their new parts.

"Alice!" I yelled, "I told you that you are not allowed to bedazzle my whole wardrobe!" She had ordered a very reliable, very efficient, and not to mention very expensive bedazzling tool. And after bedazzling all her clothes and every fabric surface in the house that Esme would allow, She needed a new project. "Now where did you put my clothes?!"

"You know Edward, you're no fun," she whined with her best puppy dog eyes. "But if you must know, they're in the bathroom."

"Thanks you Alice, and by the way, I heard Emmett talking about wanting you to bedazzle the interior to his jeep. Why don't you get started on that and surprise him when he gets back from hunting with Rose" Ha! I love messing with Emmett. As I walked toward the bathroom in Alice and Jasper's bedroom, I heard babbling that I couldn't make out. It was definitely Jasper's "voice" that I heard in my mind, but he was thinking incoherently and mumbling out loud. I opened the door, and there was Jasper, standing in his underwear with a hairbrush in his hand reciting his lines from Macbeth.

"Will it not be received, when we have marked with blood those sleepy two of his own chamber and used their daggers, that they have done it?"

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" I asked stumbling on the words in the question. I was more scarred by the fact that he was in his underwear than anything else, so that was the only thing I could think to ask.

"Practicing for Macbeth, obviously." He was clearly embarrassed because he totally avoided addressing his current clothing state.

"No, I mean, why…aren't you…dressed."

"Um, well I…I mean…it's kind of a long story."

"Ok enough said, I really don't want to hear it although you should stop thinking about it because I really, really don't want to know!" It was a little late because he was not very good at hiding his thoughts. I heard it all and it was not something he should be proud of. "Just tell me where my clothes are and I'll leave you to your rehearsing."

"Over there." He mumbled and pointed in the direction of my clothes. I ran to get them at vampire speed because I had had enough of Jasper's odd behavior.

Just as I was finishing putting my clothes back in the right places I heard Emmett scream. He must have come home to find Alice working on his car. Or better, finished with his car.

I set up this prank so, of course I had to see the madness unfold. I flew down the stairs and into the garage. Alice had just finished and was putting her bedazzling tool away. Emmett was complaining, yelling, crying, cursing, and begging for mercy all at the same time. His mind was so chaotic, even I couldn't tell what he really wanted to say. This babbling carried on long enough for the whole family to become an audience. Finally, he slightly calmed down and began making sense.

"Alice?" he asked slowly "What did you do?"

"Well Edward wouldn't let me bedazzle his clothes and he said that you had mentioned wanting your jeep to be bedazzled so I thought I would surprise you and do it all before you got home and I finished just in time, isn't it great?" His car was great but probably not great to his standards. It was literally covered in multicolored gems that came in various sizes. It shined almost as bright as we did in the sun.

"God damn it, Edward! Why would you tell her that! You owe me a new car!!" at that last comment Alice's eyes got huge and she looked like she was going to cry.

"You don't like it?" She asked.

_Damn you Edward, you're making me look like the bad guy here and you know this is entirely your fault._

"No, no, Alice I love it, its just I can't drive it anymore because I would probably crush all the gems. And I would really hate for that to happen."

_You better hope she believes that other wise your going to be dead!_

I shook my head slightly, indicating that she never would. Surprisingly her faced snapped out of its sad look and a huge smile appeared on it.

"Oh, ok, as long as you like it. And don't make Edward buy the new car. He probably didn't think about it the same way as you did, he was just trying to do something nice for you. I'll buy the new car."

"No Alice, you're right, he was just trying to do something nice. It's ok I'll buy the car. Thank you though."

_You are still paying for it, Edward._

"Ok Emmett, well I have to go to practice. See you guys later!"

After Alice skipped out of the room, Emmett looked over his car with sad eyes, glared at me, and stormed out. Once they were both gone we all burst out laughing. After our laughing fit, Jasper left to finish practicing his lines, Rosalie left for a movie with her friends and Esme and Carlisle wanted the full story on what had happened. So I proudly gave it to them.

**So there it is…please review!!**


	4. Spirit Stick

**Ok I know I told some people this chapter was going to be out by the beginning of august but I lied. Teehee. Sorry it took soo long. But hopefully you have all been busy reading breaking dawn. It was amazing and im going to write a fanfic based off it as soon as im done with this one. Anyway enjoy the chapter! Don't forget to review!!**

Spirit Stick (BPOV):

I was sitting up in my room looking for a book to read, when I heard the honk of Alice's Porsche outside. I wasn't expecting her so I quickly checked my mental calendar to make sure I hadn't forgotten a shopping trip or something. Nope. No shopping trip, so what could it be? Obviously, she became tired of waiting because I heard a series of angry yet delicate knocks on my front door. I ran down stairs and threw the door open, as to not anger her further.

When I opened the door, her expression went from impatient and angry to giddy and excited, which put a very confused look on my face.

"What's that face for?" She asked almost bouncing now.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. And I didn't think we had anything planned today." I said still trying to think of something. Then a light bulb went off in my head. "Oh. OH NO! Alice, this isn't one of those surprise makeovers you threatened me with last time I didn't go to the mall with you, is it? Come on, I was sick and I ended up going with you anyway. And…" I was going to continue complaining but she cut me off, or rather picked me up and started running towards the car.

"No silly, I have cheer practice today and your coming!"

"Oh, ok, then why are you carrying me?"

"Because we're going to be late." She said as she practically threw me into the car. "Buckle up!" I did as I was told because I still wasn't used to how fast the Cullen's drove.

"Ok, but Alice, I'm still confused. Why am I going with you today as opposed to some other day, when you could have given me a little more notice?"

"Well, I'm getting the spirit stick today and, of course, I already knew, so I needed someone to be surprised when the team gives it to me!"

"But, Alice, now we both know your getting the spirit stick."

"Oh, oops!" she laughed her little silvery laugh, "Well just pretend to be surprised, ok?"

"Ok whatever you say." I was not comfortable with this situation but considering we were pulling into the parking lot of the school, I didn't really have a choice in the matter.

"Ok Bella, now you can't show any signs of knowing about the stick until they announce it." Alice coached as we walked up to the gym doors. Hopefully there would be some small ritual at the end of practice and that would be it. I really didn't want to have to share Alice's excitement and glory. That would be almost as bad as getting her spirit stick myself. I shuddered at the thought.

My hope for something small was crushed the second we walked in. The whole gym was decorated with posters, streamers and other shiny things cheerleader adore. The whole team was standing in the center of the gym surrounding a decorated table that was in the shape of an "A" for Alice. All the lights from the stage were pointed at the table and had been covered with cellophane in Alice's favorite colors. This was getting ridiculous, what were they going to do next, sing?!

Sure enough when they saw her, the music was cued and they went into a cheer that seemed to be specialized for the event.

"Alice is the perkiest, she always knows whats best…she helps us make the cheers that get us all the press…her outfits are the cutest…her haircuts are the top…her overall appearance makes us want to pop!" Her team screamed out.

I wondered if I was the only one who noticed it didn't make sense. The team didn't go to competitions let alone get press. And why would she make people want to pop?!

Of course, being Alice, she squealed at the sight of all the girls chanting for her.

The rest of the practice was, unreal in a way. After they finished the chanting, Alice joined them and they broke out into a pre-choreographed routine, only it wasn't practice it looked like were performing. Throughout the hour of practice they kept up the performance like state with cheers, games, and amazing routines.

Finally at the end of practice they handed her the spirit stick and then quickly left jumping around and chanting some more. I was standing there by the door the whole time in awe.

How could any normal person take that much pep so often? I mean, I expected it from Alice but how could all those girls be so happy all the time? She must have brainwashed them. Yep that had to be it.

"So," Alice said as she skipped gracefully to my side, "What did you think?"

"That was…" I couldn't find the right word to describe it, but it defiantly wasn't along the lines of the words Alice offered.

"Amazing, fantastic, unbelievable, marvelous, fabulous, spectacular?"

"Uhh, yeah that's what I was going to say," Ha. She was never going to belive that.

"No you weren't, but that's ok, at least you tried!" She kept up the same level of pep the whole time even though I just put a damper on her happiness.

"Ok so what now?" I asked. "I mean, usually after some special school event people go to get ice cream but that not really an option for us."

"That's ok, Jazz promised to take me hunting." She giggled at how that would sound to someone who wasn't in the know about her family.

"Ok," I agreed " Why don't you stop at my house so I can leave a note for Charlie and then we can go back to your house, I haven't seen Edward yet today anyway."

"Ok." She said.

After I left a note for Charlie I couldn't help but ask about something Alice had said earlier.

"Alice, you said that Jasper _promised_ to take you hunting, not that he was going to. Wouldn't that mean that he already knew about the spirit stick thing?"

"Um," she started in an uneasy way. Then her face lit up again. "Yeah he did know because I asked him to come with me at first but he said that you would want to go" She said very quickly all with a smile on her face as if that would make it all ok.

"Ugh," I said in a livid nature, "he is so gunna get it later! How could he do that that's so not fair! I can't believe…"I wasn't done ranting, not even close, but Alice cut me off.

"Please don't get mad at him, at least not while I'm standing there, I wouldn't be able to take him getting yelled at." She pleaded.

"Ok," I agreed, "But as soon as you leave the room…" I didn't need to say anymore. She saw it in her mind and shuddered. I felt bad but I wasn't just giving in. I _was_ going to get him back.

**Ok I hoped you liked it. The next chapter is already started but not fully thought through so I don't know when it will be done. Please review!!**

**-Samala**


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